Self Trust
Self Trust
The concept of self trust interests me, since it only goes into two different paths. If there’s more than two, I’m open to knowing! The first path is, you trust only yourself and no one else. Second path is, you trust everyone else, before you really start trusting yourself. A lot of us have a habit or maybe it’s even a trauma response, whichever one is more tailored to you, of seeking external validation where really the answer is right there in the clues, in the feelings, in the thoughts, and in the reactions of you or someone else. Then a part of us says “But how do we know that, that answer is that? Or this? I need evidence or proof in order to proceed. How can I just trust the process and go along with it?”
Here’s one perspective to consider: changing or expanding habits:
We’re already (and almost always) trusting the process with everything else outside of us. How we get a job, how we creatives piece of art, how we get dressed, how we socialize with others, etc. We’re always trusting the process and going with the various flows of life. The kicker here, the major difference, is that this process is we’ve been in for so long, has been tried, tested, and passed. We know it’s going to work at some point. It feels safer. So why not give that same motivation, same momentum, same faith and energy to another or new spectrum of trust: trust within ourselves. It’s not fully normalized yet in society to do so, there’s self work to be done from every human before it becomes normal and appreciated. It feels weird now because it’s new. When really if the trauma didn’t happen, self-trust would come to us easier, and it wouldn’t be so “new”.
Another perspective to consider, just food for thought: safety net in our familiar environments:
Do we have internal beliefs that we grew up with (and potentially adopted) that prevent us from doing so? Do we have the right people in our corner influences good vibes around us, supportive people? Did we have anyone doubt our reality and now that trauma manifests in everything we think and feel? Do we need to do some self- work, in order to gain that trust back, so that all the parts of us who need to consider our desire to build it, actually do build it? There’s many questiones besides these that halt self trust. I know, from my experiences, I’m very trusting of myself to get tasks done because I had an internal belief (still unraveling it!) that I couldn’t rely on anybody else. I’m going to miss that deadline if I let go and let them take over. I’m going to be limited in what I can do if I let go. I’m going to be swayed into something that I don’t want if I trust my partner. That wasn’t until, I started doing the work and realized, “we, as human beings, have a natural sense of being needed and wanted, without that, it’s just a bunch of internal and external doubts, side eyes, and stagnation.” I need my peers, my family whether chosen or blood, to be in my corner, give me worthy perspectives, be considerate of me and my time, be considerate of me as a person, the list goes on. And in turn, I give that back, because that good energy is being given to me, they could use that good energy too to flourish. Reciprocal, yin/yang, you get it?
So, with this, yes self trust comes within, and it always takes time to develop and nurture. But also, it’s always a great idea (and an important one), to make sure that the loved ones around you, have your authentic interests at heart. Yes, best interests but also authentic interests. Be compassionate to yourself as that trust builds and also make sure the environment that you’re in, allows you and gives you that good energy to do so.
Hope this helps!
Take care of yourself,
Nessa <3
